You know those childhood cartoons where the characters have a goody-goody angel voice and the naughty, not-so-angelic, one fighting on their shoulders?
What, didn’t you ever watch Tom and Jerry growing up? Well, I’d love to tell you that my metaphorical inner angel voice won out this time guys, but………then there were these pop-tarts and um……………yeah.
In brainstorming over this idea I’d considered just making my pop-tarts inspired by milk’s favorite cookies, but I kind of didn’t want to just stop there. I also felt like there should be some actual sandwich cookies going into these at the same time. So basically, these are an oreo version of a pop-tart since you’ve got the dark chocolate cookie, or in this case pastry, and the white vanilla cream going on in a perfect ratio. Then, THEN, you add an unapologetic amount of actual cookie crumbs to the filling AND a sprinkle on the top just for good measure.
I was trying to rationalize how to explain why you’d want to make a pop-tart that is already pretty much an oreo on its own and then still add store-bought ones to it. All I can come up with though is, why wouldn’t you want this insane amount of cookie-ness??? My logic is undeniable right?
In other recent news, you know because there is more to my life than pop-tarts (most of the time), this had been a pretty quiet week on my homefront but I did get the chance to share in a project for some friends of ours. They needed a new fence to keep their dogs in so we were able to go out and help them put one up. I honestly really enjoy getting my hands dirty when it’s for a good cause and it’s always more rewarding than I even expect it to be.
I’ve also been really trying to improve my Spanish because the truth is that I’m a major loserhead and I am way behind where I should be after living this long in a Spanish-speaking culture. What can I say, I’m spoiled because we now have a network of friends that all speak English so, in a way, I’ve been living in this growing English bubble in the middle of a Spanish pond. Plus, most people here speak a fair amount of English and are usually more than happy to practice on us. These may be poor excuses for my lack of linguistic fluency but there they are. I clearly need a motivational kick in the butt.
All right, but back to the pop-tarts that you HAVE to make. Really, they were such a hit. My mom said that I somehow managed to make store-bought sandwich cookies taste better just by being with these pop-tarts and of course the boys didn’t say much of anything because they couldn’t speak around their mouths full of cookies and crea goodness.
I admit it, I broke down and use name brand oreos just this once even though I know they don’t exactly fit into the ideal healthfood category. See, there was this school lunchbox special going on at the store and Mom wanted to get the boxes for Sophie and Ryder to use. She bought them for the boxes but that meant we ended up with this huge stack of oreos in the pantry screaming to be crumbled into something delicious and there I was doing my best to resist the urge but clearly I failed miserably at it. It’s all about balance and moderation though, don’t you think?
Come on, it’s Friday people! And for reals, what more could you ask for of a perfect weekend than some of these insanely addictive yummies!!!!!
- 3 cups all purpose flour
- 1/3 cup sugar
- 3/4 cup cocoa powder
- 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
- 6 tablespoons lard, coconut oil, or vegetable shortening
- 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) cold butter, cubed
- 1/2 - 2/3 cup ice cold water
- 6 tablespoons butter
- 3 tablespoons whole milk
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 4 cups powdered sugar
- 1/2 cup cornstarch
- 1 1/3 cups broken/chopped sandwich cookies (i.e. jojos or oreos)
- 3 cups powdered sugar
- 1/4 cup milk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
- 1/2 cup more cookie pieces
- Combine flour, sugar, cocoa, and salt in the bowl of food processor and pulse. Add butter and lard and pulse a few times more until crumbly. Add water and process until the dough comes together, adding a tiny bit more water if necessary until it pulls away from the sides of bowl..
- Stir butter and milk together in the bowl of stand mixer or a medium mixing bowl until smooth. Add salt, vanilla, and cornstarch and stir to combine. Mix in powdered sugar a cup at a time until combined then beat until fluffy. Add cookie pieced and beat just long enough to mix them into filling.
- Roll pastry dough out on a lightly floured surface into a rectangle roughly 1/8 inch thick. Cut into smaller rectangles, about 2 1/2 x 5 inch pieces.
- Spoon about 1 heaping tablespoon of filling onto the centers of half of the rectangles you've cut and spread to within 1/2 inch from edges, then rub edges with water. Place the other half of the pieces on top of fillings and use a fork or your fingers to crimp the ends together to seal well. Place on a parchment lined baking tray about 1/4 inch apart and place tray in refrigerator for about 30 minutes.
- Meanwhile, preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 C). When oven is ready, remove trays from fridge and bake for 10 - 12 minutes until the edges are starting to darken and crisp. Remove tray from oven and cool tarts completely before adding icing.
- Whisk the ingredients for the icing in a small bowl until smooth and use a spoon or knife to spread on cooled tarts. Sprinkle with cookie pieces and allow to dry (for at least 30 minutes) before serving.